Sunday, May 18, 2014

Sarcasm

I would like to talk about sarcasm for a minute. Not everyone gets it. In my life I have encountered many people that have never fully grasped the concept of sarcasm and most likely have never understood humor in general. I am going to call said group of people Herd Laugh-ers or HLs for short. The term refers to those people who only seem to know when to laugh based on a laugh track featured on mediocre sitcoms for your viewing pleasure. You know who I'm talking about.  The scope of humor for HLs includes pie-to-the-face type situations, or moments like "silly me, I accidentally used a blue pen for this important document". Sarcasm is typically outside the scope of their humor-radar.

I have never encountered more HLs in my entire life, as I have at my current place of employment. I seriously feel like Kevin Bacon in Footloose only instead of dancing I am forbidden to laugh. Or perhaps Spongebob in Squidville and everyone keeps telling me leaf blowers and not a toy. I'm just doing normal human things and everyone keeps looking like I'm pooping on a sidewalk.

Now, I'm about to get graphic and go mad scientist for a moment. Just pretend I'm Doc McStuffins and I'm referring to fluffy unicorn stuffed animals and their various polyester stuffing. I work in a hospital laboratory and frequently deal with disgusting things that sick people produce. I recently received the most foul urine a human body could possibly produce. It resembled something closer to an incredibly spoiled fermented vanilla McShake than the normal clear yellow liquid one would expect (see diagram below). Definitely nothing I would ever want coming out of my bladder.



So  I'm sure at this point you are wondering several things like:
1. Why the fuck did I go to college to do this? (Maybe that's just me questioning that)
2) Why would you talk about such a horrible thing?
3) What does this have to do with sarcasm?

Well, I'll tell you the answer to number 3 because that's the only question I can answer right now.  One of my responsibilities as a lab rat is to describe the color and clarity of the urine I analyze. This particular one I decided to ask my co-worker for help.

Me: Would you call this clear or slightly cloudy? *Note Sarcasm*

Coworker: it's TURBID. Why would you even ask?




Sarcasm. Not everyone gets it.

Most of my coworkers probably wonder how I graduated from elementary school, and I'm wondering where humanity went wrong.  Life is to shitty to take seriously.

Seriously.

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