Monday, May 19, 2014

Doom in a cookie

It's happened. My death has been predicted, and I think it's closing in fast. I casually stole a fortune cookie from someone's Chinese food at work, cracked the mediocre origami folded piece of almost-cardboard cookie in half and it was fucking EMPTY!  I've never noticed how dark and creepy the pockets of a fortune cookie are until now... I looked at it with terror and shoved it into my mouth as fast as I could. Maybe I was trying to forget the whole thing happened? Maybe I was pretending some Asian man didn't just predict my doom. Maybe I was just hungry...

 I don't even eat those cookies for the fortune, I eat them because they are called cookies. I don't care that most of the time they taste like the plastic they are wrapped in, they are classified as a cookie and as a general rule, I eat cookies. But as it happens, apparently I rely on the fortune more than I thought even though they usually make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Maybe no fortune is a GOOD omen? I mean really, it makes more sense than most.. NOTHING. But, I'm still going to be extra cautious today... Just in case.

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